My work focuses on queer experiences and healing relational trauma.

Belonging and authenticity are both survival needs. Just as we need food and shelter, human beings also need to belong in order to survive, especially when we are young and unable to meet our basic needs. But we also need to be in touch with ourselves enough to identify what those needs are–this is at the core of authenticity. So what happens when our authenticity poses a threat to our belonging? Unfortunately, this is a familiar experience for many queer people. Whether these experiences of rejection and abandonment happen at the societal or familial level (or both), these ruptures are traumatic – trauma being defined as experiencing a threat to our basic safety or survival. We may be cut off from those who have provided for us, or have had to cut ourselves off from parts of ourselves in order to maintain belonging with those caregivers. 

You may find yourself “time-traveling” – often lost in thoughts and memories of the hardest moments from your past. Or you’re mostly perfectly fine and things are humming right along until suddenly you’re activated – frightened, enraged or confused and you don’t quite know why. Maybe you’re mostly okay, but just sense that some part of you does not feel quite safe and so struggles to be fully present with others. It’s difficult to build trust with others, or yourself. Or you just know that you’re not accessing the full breadth of your authenticity; you feel a little dimmed, or like you’ve abandoned yourself in some important way that you can’t quite describe. Maybe you’re mostly connected, but can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. These are all symptoms of relational trauma. 

The good news is that trauma can be healed, and these painful wounds are actually the site where our healing work begins. Together, we’ll meet all the tough, thorny, messy parts, and we’ll do that slowly, at your pace, in small, doable pieces. Slow is fast in this work, as we gently re-build trust and safety by showing your nervous system that it’s okay to be with this stuff now, that it’s in the past, that you did, in fact, survive. As we embark on this work with steadiness, gentleness and a great deal of respect for all parts of you, you’re likely to find that things begin to shift. Clients often describe having more clarity about what they need and want in life, greater confidence and deeper intimacy in relationships, and often an overall sense of feeling “more like themselves”. To me this is sacred work that I am so passionate about and so grateful to be able to do. Together in therapy, we will build a new foundation of safety and trust, and over time witness your surviving transform to thriving.